Player A : Ok, which of you dirty motherfuckers went upstairs and left the shit-weasel and didn't flush?
Player B : I dont know, but that shit looked like a roll of sausages!
(...entire group busts into belly laughter...)
Player A : Why are you all fucking laughing? This shit aint funny!
Cheshire : Alright, Osirek, you go in first and recon the place.
Osirek : Me? Are you crazy?
Cheshire : Yeah, you can handle it.
Osirek : Ok. Just remember ... when you finally get to the hotel and the fucking WINDOWS are bleeding out ... you sent me in first.
Karma : You should have told him off. He's JUST a minotaur!
Cheshire : Nah, I'd never talk shit to him. He'd probably try to rape me. You know, he'd throw me in the back of that Jackrabbit over there and pound me in the ass, all the while yelling that its not gay if you're doing it to be vindictive!
Osirek : This is Air-Bull calling Smiling-Cat, over.
Cheshire : I hear you, what do you want?
Osirek : Sorry, didnt get that. Over.
Chesire : I said I can hear you. What do you want?
Osirek : Hmm. Still didnt get you. Over.
Cheshire : Goddammit. I said what the hell do you want? Where are you? Whats the noise in the background?
Osirek : No good. Still not coming through clear. Over.
Cheshire : What the hell? How can you not hear me?
Osirek : Every sentence has to end with 'over'. Over.
Cheshire : ... Are you fucking kidding me? OVER!
Shyster : What surprises me is that the fucking devil lives in Seattle and NOBODY CARES! (spoken on a live tv broadcast about Frank White)
(...group is riding a high-speed train from Seattle to L.A...)
Cheshire : Ok, I managed to get us unlimited access to the train so we go around and loot up some.
Karma : I want to see what kinds of guns they have.
Sure-Shot : Yeah, I want to see what kind of rifles they have.
Hector : Man, I wonder if we could pawn that Red Samurai armor they have.
Osirek : Hmm. How much is the train worth?
Cheshire : Really? A whole fucking train? How the fuck do you plan to transport it?
Osirek : Mexicans.
Priest : M'lad you have a serious temper problem. Have ya' ever thought about anger management classes?
Fenix : Grrr. If you werent so holy, I'd kick your ASS!
Cleveland : You're just a poser, punk! I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast!
Cheshire : You eat pieces of shit for breakfast?
Reaper : I'm not going in that water. Ares probably has a Megaladon under there, just waiting for us!
Cheshire : A fucking Megaladon? Really? Why in the fuck would they have a Megaladon down there? What, does he communicate with them? Does he have a fucking commlink with a laser sight attached to it?
Reaper : Maybe. This *IS* Ares we are talking about!
Cheshire : I'm not worried about it. At least he wont be able to radio back to them. All they will hear will be "GRRGGGHGHGHRRR CHOMP" because he has a fucking mouthfull of Runner. Now shut up and get moving!
Grey-Back the Orc : Are you willing to try to use your new rank for ill gotten gains?
Osirek : How about we play a game called "Say something else about the Bull and I'll shove my fist down your fucking throat"?
Grey-Back the Orc : ...
Cheshire (to Sunny, Grey-Back's friend) : So, you want Grey-Back to come home safely?
(...Lab-Rat looks at Grey-Back's unconscious body covered in quick-dry cement...)
Lab-Rat : Uh ... might want to change his name to Grey-BLOCK!
PlayerA : Why do you always hate my character concepts?
PlayerB : Because their fucking stupid! You're supposed to be a legitimate runner? Half your body is covered in a tattoos and you have blue and yellow hair?
PlayerA : Yeah, so what?
PlayerB : Ok, my guy is wearing a fucking bunny mask and jester hat. And he runs around naked. How about that?
PlayerA : FINE!
(...playerA looks at gm...)
PlayerA : I'm going to get some nano-paste and cover the tattoos. Then I'll shave my head. Then I'll buy some non-descript brown clothes. Finally I'm going to change my name to Greg Jones.
GM : Uh... and your street name?
PlayerA : Streetname = Todd.
GM: Ok, you've passed the MAD scanner cleanly and you are now being wanded. Are you carrying anything illegal on you?
Black Widow: Nope.
Love-Burrito: Oh, dont forget that you're still messed up from all that Deepweed.
GM: (remembering) The guard notices that scent upon you and the ways your eyes are dilating quickly and pulls you off to the side.
...30 minutes later, and after getting hit with a $200 fine on her REAL SIN...
Black Widow: I dont have the money to pay for this. Gee, thanks.
Love-Burrito: No problem ... I'll lend you the money and you can pay me back later. I mean, what are friends for?